AHS: Season 4- Glam Clown


Last year it was all about Harley Quinn and this year I imagine I’m going to see a lot of Pennywise clowns. Season 4 of Freakshow probably made me cry the most out of all the seasons, it’s also probably the least gory season. For the look inspired by AHS Freakshow I was inspired by Twisty the Clown, a clown who blew his own face off and wears a mask. A lot of the clowns from AHS and from It etc are very traditional looking, i.e. white face paint, red lips, some blood here and there, I wanted to go more glam with my look. So here goes, enjoy 🙂

Products I used:

Mecca Cosmetica: Hydrating Primer

Inglot: custom colour concealer palette

MAC: Studio Fix foundation in NW10

NARS: Radiant creamy concealer in Chantilly

NYX: HD Finishing Powder

NYX: Highlight & Contour Pro Palette

Too Faced: Sweetheart Blush in Peach Beach

Anastasia Beverly Hills: Aurora Glow Kit

MAC: Eye shadow in Charcoal Brown

Anastasia Beverley Hills: Modern Renaissance Palette

Kat Vond D: Shade & Light Eye contour quad in Smoke

Stila: Smudge Pot in Black

Maybelline: Define Lash Mascara

L’Oriel: Super LinerPerfect Slim

Savvy: Kohl Eyeliner (black)

Stick on gems (you can get them from the $2 shop)

Duo Lash glue

MAC: Lipstick in Diva

Step 1: Base

First I put down my base, I have many tutorials on this blog about what order I put my base down on, but for those who haven’t read them: prime, colour conceal, set concealer, foundation, conceal, set with powder, contour, blush and then highlight.

I then took my MAC eyeshadow and filled in my eyebrows, lining my brows with left over foundation to tidy up the edges.

Step 2: Eyes

Using my Modern Renaissance palette, I took the shade Buon Fresco (a purple taupe colour) and a fluffy brush and swept the colour over my crease as my transition shade. I then took the shade Tempera (a cream colour) and patted it over my lid.

I then took a small pointy brush and the shade Antique Bronze (a warm purple colour) and deepened my outer corners in a “c” kind of formation. In the deepest part of my outer corner I used the shade Cyprus Umber (a deep brown). I then took the shade Vermeer (a pink shimmery champaign colour) all over my lid. Make sure you take a CLEAN fluffy brush and blend to help defuse any lines created. To finish off with the shadows I took an angled brush and the colour Red Ochre (a brick red colour) and blended on my lower lash line.

I took my Stila smudge pot and lined my upper and lower water lines. I then took my L’Oriel eye liner and gave myself a winged liner on my top lash line.

Step 3: Clown shapes


Taking my black shadow from my Kat Von D and an angled brush I drew two triangles on each eye and filled them in. I then took that same shadow and created a small little circle on my nose and filled it in.


Taking that same black shadow I drew a line across my face with one semi-circle on each side of my face and dragged out the line to blend it down my face.


Taking a selection of small and medium sized gems and lash glue I deposited 4 medium gems and 11 small gems over my crease, using the lash glue to glue them to my face. Obviously you can use as many gems as you want and any size you want. I then put a gem on each point of each triangle. I finished off the eyes by applying mascara on my top and bottom lashes.

Step 5: Lips

To finish the look I lined my lips in black kohl liner and filled them in with my red lipstick.

Voila! A glam clown look. This was actually way easier and quicker then some of the other looks I’ve done and honestly as long as you know how to draw triangles you can accomplish this look. Hope everyone is getting as excited about Halloween as I am!


Jess XO


AHS Makeup: Season 3- Zombie


I know, I know, I haven’t been around and I’m sorry uni and TAFE were kicking my ass and frankly I’ve been absolutely exhausted. But I finished my TAFE course last Friday and so I am back, sorry to keep you guys waiting.

So here we are with the second installment of the AHS inspired makeup, and I hear you, “Jess what about season 2?” Here’s the thing I could do a tutorial on the white nun look but that’s just white face paint all over the face and drips of black paint under the eyes. It’s just not very exciting and while I could have done an alien-inspired look, that would’ve required prosthetics on my end and I just haven’t had the time despite my best intentions. So here we go with AHS Season 3: Coven.

A lot of people really didn’t like this season, but it happens to be my favourite season, I love “witch” stuff so much. I used to study Wicca and I was obsessed with learning about the Salem Witch Trials and so it’s my favourite- fight me! I thought about doing a glam witch-inspired look for this and I will if you guys want me too. However, I decided to do a look I’ve never attempted, zombies. In Season 3, as an act of revenge, Marie Laveau (played by Angela Bassett) sets a bunch of zombies on the young witches using her voodoo magic.

So here goes a simple Zombie look…

 The products I used were the following:

  • Mecca Cosmetica: Hydrating Primer
  • Hourglass: Vanish Stick foundation in “Blanc”
  • NYX: HD Finishing Powder
  • Vaseline
  • Liquid Latex
  • Crown: 10 Colour Brow Palette
  • Crown: 35 Colour Matte Eyeshadow Palette
  • Kryolan: Cream Colour Circle “Black Eye” (or any bruise wheel)
  • Kryolan: Fresh Scratch (scab blood)
  • Kryolan: F/X Blood “Dark”


Step 1: Foundation and Latex

I apolagize if I look kind of dead to begin with, I created this look after coming from a 5am city shoot so I was feeling a bit like a zombie to begin with; I figured my dark circles would help sell the look. After priming my face I applied my foundation all over my face, lips and down my neck. I then set my foundation with my NYX finishing powder.

While I realise a zombie wouldn’t have amazing eyebrows, I mean their first priority is brains not brows, I didn’t want to leave my brows bare and so I filled them in using my Crown brow palette.

I then got to work with starting my skin deformities. First and foremost where ever you plan on applying liquid latex first put Vaseline on your face. This means that when you remove the latex afterwards it’s not going to rip any facial hair off your face. To start creating the wounds, take the liquid latex and a disposable sponge (if you use a brush you’ll ruin the brush), and start in thin layers applying the liquid latex in your desired locations. I picked above my eye, close to my mouth and down my neck.

It is important to note that liquid latex is incredibly pungent so it’s best to avoid the eye area as much as possible (and AVOID EYEBROWS AT ALL COST).

Wait for the layer to dry and apply another coat etc, I did about 4/5 layers.


Step 2: Defining the face

While you wait for the latex to completely dry you can start on the rest of the face. Taking a mix of grey, dark blue and purple eye shadow I defined my eye sockets and the bags under my eyes. I also ran it over my temple to create a hollow, as well as used it to contour my cheeks, nose and neck. Lastly I used the mixture of eye shadow to turn my lips slightly grey/blue.

I then took a shade of army/cargo green and swiped it in random places to further discolour my face.


At this stage the latex had dried and so I picked holes out of my latex for where my wounds would be.

 Step 3: Wounds


Taking my bruise wheel I took a mixture of the dark red and dark purple cream and patted it in the gaps of my latex, where the deepest part of my wounds would be. I then took a ripped up disposable sponge (I rip it up so that when I deposit colour it looks patchy and “veiny” like a real bruise) and deposited a green/yellow cream all over the exposed latex and skin surrounding the latex. Closer to the wound I took my ripped sponge and a light purple cream to further “bruise up” my wound.


Surrounding the wounds I took my green cream, purple cream and fine liner brush and created veins around my wounds and eyes. I used my finger to smudge out some of the veins so they wouldn’t stand out and look painted on as much.


Step 4: Finish touches

I used the light purple cream from my bruise wheel to help deepen my contours more. I then took my scab blood and filled in my wound holes. Lastly taking a sponge and my f/x blood I dotted the blood around the wounds and random places to add to the horror, ie I put some bloody fingerprints on my face. Scab blood is a lot thicker/stickier and doesn’t drip, where as f/x blood is incredibly runny and will drip, so be careful of your surroundings when dealing with f/x blood.

I then flipped and messed up my hair to make it look disheveled.


And there you go a simple zombie-inspired look. I’m sorry again for my absence but I’m looking forward to getting back into it. I hope you guys enjoyed this post, look forward to what’s coming guys. Let me know if you guys do end up wanting to see a witch look as well.


Jess XO



Halloween is coming and so I thought I would start a series where I show you guys some easy makeup-orientated Halloween costumes, and seeing that American Horror Story Cult has just started I figured it’d be a good theme for this series. Starting with American Horror Story Murder House, I figured I’d do my favourite kind of makeup, skeletons, thank goodness my fave character from that season is Tate Langdon.



Considering how grungey Tate’s skeleton face is you don’t need a lot of makeup products.


From left to right: Hourglass Vanish Stick “Blanc”, Kat Von D Shade + Light Eye Contour Quad “Smoke”, DB Black kohl eyeliner, NYX HD Finishing Powder, Kryolan Aqua Color “Black”, Urban Decay Perversion Mascara.

Step 1: Foundation and Outlines

While I primed my face I didn’t bother colour correcting, my “problem areas” were going to be covered in black so there was no point in wasting product for that. Taking my Hourglass foundation I applied it all over my face and neck, including covering my lips and set it with my NYX translucent powder.

I then took my kohl eyeliner and sketched out the bigger shapes that would be filled in on my face, using pictures of Tate as a general guide, you don’t have to follow the shapes created to the letter get creative with it. It’s worth mentioning this is not my first skeleton and so I’m pretty confident at sketching out eye sockets and teeth, so I went straight in with black. If you’re new to this you may be better with a flesh or white coloured eyeliner pencil as it’ll be easier to wipe away or hide if you make a mistake.

Step 2: Fill in the Black


Taking my black Aqua Colour paint I filled in the big shapes on my face, setting it with the black eyeshadow from my Kat Von D palette. I also ran some of that eyeshadow around my hair line and edges of my face.

Step 3: Teeth

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Teeth are probably the hardest part of the whole skeleton so I’m going to try and explain this as best I can.

To first sketch out teeth you want to take your eyeliner pencil and draw a line out from the edge of your lips to about half way between your lips and your ear lobe, replicate that on the other side, SYMMETRY IS KEY. I recommend doing this with a closed-mouth smile, so when you take pics at your party it’ll still look like you’re smiling slightly without opening your mouth and ruining the illusion. You then, starting from the centre of your lips, start drawing little lines, you want to make sure the spacing is even and symmetrical. Once you’ve drawn all your lines, going in from 3 lines at both sides draw ovals to create hollows in your face. With the space left between the ovals and your earlobes draw a thicker line.

For the teeth not inside the ovals you want to incorporate those lines you’ve made and turn them into squared-off tear shapes, drawing little lines between your teeth using Kryolan black paint and a fine liner brush. Draw some teeth in your ovals and fill in the rest of the space with black Kryolan face paint and black eyeshadow. Tate’s “teeth” are slightly different to how I normally do teeth and so I created some shadowing underneath the lower teeth. I then used the white eyeshadow shade form the Kat Von D palette to set the “whites” of the teeth.

Step 4: Shadowing

Taking an angled brush and a cool-toned brown shade from the Kat Von D palette I drew out little lines around the black shapes and then blended it out, creating a raised effect. I also created some “x” shapes on my forehead using the same technique to make my forehead protrude a bit more.

Step 5: The Neck

Tate has a lot going on with his neck and I couldn’t find a good enough picture of the detail so I replicated the neck as best I could. The only necessary shape is the spine, which you can create by overlapping weird mushroom shapes down the centre of your neck. I used my kohl eyeliner to do this and then I drew out a lot of lines, marking out which space would be filled in with black. You don’t need to worry about it being symmetrical.

I then filled in the spaces with black Kryolan paint and set it with the black Kat Von D eyeshadow. I also took a mix of the black and cool-toned brown eyeshadow to create some shading on the spine.

Step 6: Finishing Touches and Costume

Tates skull has some, for lack of a better phrase, squiggly smoke-like texture happening around the temples and edges of his face, and so I replicated this by lightly squiggling some black eyeshadow and a fine liner brush over those areas. I also placed some dots at the base of my eye sockets with the same tools. Lastly I applied my mascara.

Costume-wise you just need to wear all black. I wore a black t-shirt that says “Broken Dreams Club” (I know how emo of me), black ripped jeans and boots, if it were colder I would also wear my black hoodie. In terms of hair I slicked back my hair into a pony tail.

I hope you guys have enjoyed the start of this series, I’m really excited to start getting into some more exciting kind of makeup- I’m so pumped for Halloween!


Jess XO

My Favourite Makeup Products

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In my previous post I stated that things are starting to pick up in craziness for me and it’s true I have some lovely assignments due these next two weeks (yay for content that I won’t remember past this semester but will still have thousands in student debt to pay anyway). I thought this week I’d write just a chatty post about my favourite products to use on my face- call it a makeup artist’s holy grail so to speak. I promise I have some exciting posts coming up for Halloween that I’m really pumped about- but until then here goes.

I have not been endorsed by any of these products, these are the products I love and will be either re-purchasing them or I have already done so numerous times.


Mecca Cosmetica Hydrating Primer, as a student I don’t have hundreds of dollars to throw at different primers for different skin types so I stick to this hydrating primer, which is suitable for all skin types. I personally enjoy this primer as it’s lightweight and helps with adding moisture into the skin. Plus in terms of high-end primers it’s not too expensive compared to some primers I’ve come across.


I’ve got my two must-haves here purely because I can’t decide between the two. Being the pale vampire I am it’s very difficult to find foundations pale enough and pink-toned enough for me. There a lot of pale foundations out there BUT I AM NOT YELLOW-TONED! It’s so frustrating sometimes but I imagine that means I live a very charmed life if my biggest concern is that my foundation looks too yellow on me- so I guess I can’t complain too much.

MAC Studio Fix Foundation in NW10, I’ve purchased this foundation 6+ times since being introduced to MAC back in 2015 when I went to Florida. I know a lot of people aren’t too big of a fan of this foundation but I love it. The formula is easy to build and blend into the skin, and the longevity of it is great (with minimal to no touch-ups needed). I would also like to mention when it comes to high-end foundations it’s not as expensive as others, $49 for 6 months of use. The only negative I have for this particular formula is that it does slightly oxidize, which on one hand makes me look slightly less pale but it doesn’t match me quite as well as my second foundation.

Hourglass Vanish Stick in Blanc, this is my first time purchasing it but I’m pretty impressed; It’s mainly the shade that I’m impressed with, it matches me perfectly. For a stick foundation it’s not a very drying formula which is what I’ve found with the Napoleon Perdis stick foundation, however as it is a stick it takes a bit more blending work. My only concerns are the price, so it’ll be interesting to see how long this foundation lasts me, and that I have to touch up my foundation a lot more then with my Studio Fix. This formula is incredibly buttery and it seems any type of touching, even if it’s sweeping my hair out of my face, also swipes off my foundation.


For colour correcting I use a custom pallet I created at Inglot and I mostly use the green and light peach shade. For a “normal” concealer I have my NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer in Chantilly, this is another product that I’ve purchased numerous times. I use it as a cream highlight as well as to help carve out my brows and lips.

Powder & Contour

NYX is where I go to for these two products. NYX HD Finishing Powder is exceptionally finely milled, I don’t like to use foundation powder as a) it makes me look cakey b) it oxidizes my foundation. This powder is also great no matter the skin tone as it’s translucent, so I’m not having to purchase several loose powders with different tones.

NYX Pro Highlight & Contour Pro Palette is a pretty awesome dupe to Anastasia Beverly Hills’ contour palette without the crazy price tag. I love this palette as it includes several shades for different skin tones but also includes a cool-toned brown for my vampiric face.

Blush & Highlight

Being incredibly pale and naturally red as I am I’m not a fan of incredibly pink blushes, however peach blushes don’t always work well with my undertone either. I love MAC’s Full Of Joy blush as it’s an incredibly pale pink, pink enough to give me a glow without it looking like I just ran a marathon. I also enjoy it as it has a matte finish and so it doesn’t draw attention the fullness of my cheeks as much as a shimmery blush would.

For highlight nothing beats an intense glow like Anastasia Beverly Hills Nicole Guerriero Glow Kit, it’s incredibly pigmented and has 6 shades in it. I use the shade Forever Young (a pale lavender) the most,

Brows & Eye shadow

While I like an intense brow I still like my brows to appear natural so I use a MAC shadow in Charcoal Brown for my eyebrows. I use a bit of Fix+ if I want to really intensify my brow. Shadows are easier to build a brow then gel, gel can become too intense too quickly if you’re not careful.

With all the talk about the Anastasia Beverly Hills Subculture palette and how much people hate it I thought I’d remind everyone of the great palette they released last year- the Modern Renaissance palette. This is a new product of mine and I’m already in love, the shades are so incredibly pigmented and blend nicely; plus the amount of shades gives me a lot of options to play with.

Eyeliner & Mascara

While I can use gel eyeliner quite well, eyeliner pens are just easier and quicker to use and I interchange Stila & L’Oriel’s eyeliner pens, both I’ve re-purchased many times. In terms of mascara I’m loving the Urban Decay Perversion Mascara.

Lipstick & Setting Spray

As my tag line suggests black lipstick is my favourite shade to wear, more importantly Kat Von D’s liquid lipstick in Witches is brilliant. The formula and longevity of the lipstick is incredible.

To set it all Urban Decay’s All-Nighter spray is a cult favourite and mine as well.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading about my personal favourite products- watch this space for some awesome Halloween stuff coming!


Jess XO

What I’ve Learnt Since Writing About My Body

As a disclaimer university is ramping up and I’ll be heading back to TAFE for a few weeks and so my posts may be shorter and less frequent but I will be back after a few weeks. Two weeks ago I wrote a difficult post about my struggles with my body image, My Battle with Accepting my Body,  and it received an overwhelming amount of positive response from so many people. I wanted to write a short piece about what I’ve learnt since writing that post.


After posting this piece I received comments from girls who are younger and older then me who had experienced similar feelings about their bodies. I had comments from girls who are several sizes smaller then me and who have hundreds of followers who have felt the same way. It’s insane to me that these girls who I think are absolutely stunning have felt the way I have/do. There were cases where these feelings were created from a significant others or family members rather then the beauty/fashion industry. For significant others or family members who know girls who struggle with their body, any kind of comment whether you think it’s positive or not makes us self-conscious. In a world where we are bombarded with magazines, adverts, videos, movies, etc featuring women that fit an impossible beautiful standard; the last thing we need are comments that draw our attention to the parts of us we’re not okay with.


A person’s worth doesn’t come from their exterior it comes from the essence of the person. It’s a shame that the beauty and fashion industry create and pray on our insecurities but sadly that’s how they make money. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with playing around with makeup, clothes and taking care of your skin and body, I do however think there’s a problem if you’re doing something you don’t enjoy. Wear makeup if you enjoy applying and wearing it but I honestly cringe when I hear girls say they “have” to wear makeup, there’s no law that says you “have” to wear makeup, only the expectations of the beauty and fashion world that are being pushed upon you.


It was insane to me to see all these girls feeling/experiencing the same things I have, but I guess in hindsight it was insane for me to think that others didn’t feel the same way. All women are unique in there beauty but we are all united by the same insecurities; it’s time we stop body shaming each other and instead encouraging each other and lifting each other up to accept our beauty.

Jess XO

Do’s and Don’ts of Makeup

I would firstly like to thank everyone who read and supported my last post My Battle with Accepting my Body , the amount of feedback and discussions it has lead to has been astonishing. I plan to write a post about what came of that post, but I thought this week I would write something a little more light-hearted.

When we start out with makeup we make a lot of mistakes that make us look harsh or older, I’m guilty of making all these mistakes when I started out with makeup. So here is a list of Do’s and Don’ts so for those who are starting out, don’t make the same mistakes the rest of us have.



  • Moisturise and prime before applying foundation. Wearing makeup dries out your skin and dry skin leads to faster age lines, so by moisturising you’re slowing down how fast your skin ages.
  • Applying primer creates a barrier that fills in your pores so you don’t clog them up with makeup. If your skin clogs up it can’t breath and will dry out- creating fine lines.


  • Apply foundation straight to your skin, as mentioned it dries out and clogs your skin, ageing you prematurely.
  • When matching foundation to your skin, don’t swatch on your hand or your neck. More often then not hands and necks are paler or tanner then your face and so it’s not reliable. The best place to swatch is from just above your jaw line down to your neck- the “swatch” that seemingly disappears most is the shade for you.
  • Apply foundation purely to your face, it creates a mask look and becomes very obvious that you’re wearing makeup.



  • Use a concealer that is 1-2 shades lighter then your foundation colour for under the eyes. The lighter shade will help to highlight and add definition to your face without using shimmer. It creates a “natural” highlight.


  • Conceal without using colour corrector first. Using a concealer under the eyes without colour correcting just highlights your dark circles further. Colour correcting makes the purple under your eyes blend into your skin colour and not look as dark.



  • Use a translucent powder to set.


  • Use a foundation powder to set. Foundation powder has a heavier formula then translucent powder and doesn’t settle into your skin, rather it sits on top creating a “cakey” look.

Contour & Highlight


  • Use a cool-toned brown to contour regardless if you’re warm-toned.
  • Use the contour shade in places that you want to create shadow/recede i.e.: under cheek bones, along/under jaw line, hair line and if you want to get crazy under your bottom lip and on the sides of your nose. Depending on your face shape depends on where you want to contour.
  • Highlight on the areas of the face that you want to draw attention to (the high points) i.e. top of the cheek bone, down the nose, on top of your cupids bow and along the brown bone.
  • Bronze the high points of the face (top of cheek bones, forehead, chin).


  • Use a warm-toned contour shade, the warmth doesn’t help to recede your features, rather it creates a muddy look.
  • Use a shimmery shade to contour, again it just draws attention to the features you’re “hiding”.
  • Use highlight on the apples of your cheeks, often your pores are at their largest on the apples of your cheeks and hence the highlight will make your pores look bigger.



  • Apply blush on the apples of your cheeks and blending upwards.


  • Apply blush under the cheek bones.
  • Apply blush in a streak up your face- it makes your face look harsh.



  • Use 1-2 shades darker then your hair colour if you have light hair.
  • Use 1-2 shades lighter then your hair colour if you have dark hair.


  • Use black brow products unless your hair is black- it’ll look like a Sharpie marker otherwise.



  • Prime your lids before eyeshadow, it helps the longevity of your eyeshadow as well as smooth over the texture created by your eyelids.
  • Use a warm tone for your transition/crease colour.
  • Apply eyeliner in small strokes.
  • Follow the angle that is created from your nostril to the end of your brow for your cat eye, you want to create lift.


  • Use shimmer in your crease, the crease is the skin on your face that wrinkles the quickest and shimmer just highlights that.
  • Pull your skin to apply eyeliner, like I said your eyelids are incredibly thin and wrinkle the fastest, if you pull your eyelids to apply eyeliner it’ll wrinkle faster. Also it’ll mean when you “let go” your eyeliner will come away crooked.



  • Line your lips in small strokes going upwards, it’ll help create the illusion of lift.


  • Line your lips in one stroke- it won’t come out “straight” and you’re lips will look turned down.




Hopefully you learned something today, at the end of the day the fun of makeup is experimenting and figuring out what you like on your face and what you don’t.

Hope you feel beautiful today-

Jess XO

My Battle with Accepting my Body

“I’m still learning to love the parts of me that no one claps for.”– Ruby Francisco


This post has been really difficult for me to write about, I’m being the most vulnerable I have ever been publically and so I thought about a million ways I could start this post but what is better then being honest.

Before I get in to the heart of this post I would like to start with that this piece is in no way intended to shame anyone else’s body no matter what size or shape it is. This is purely about my own experiences and so it would be unfair to comment on other body types as I am not it.

 This time last year I weighed 97kg. I now weigh 82kg.

This is not something that I outwardly celebrate and I’m going to tell you why.

 How my mental health effected my weight-loss


I have always been the “bigger” friend in the majority of my friendship circles throughout my life and I didn’t care too much. I remember guys “liking” my friends in High School and me thinking to myself, “well that makes sense because I’m not tall, skinny and beautiful like they are; but that’s okay.” I remember liking my winter uniform better because it covered more of my body and didn’t show off my large legs or stomach as much. I remember wearing clothes that buttoned all the way up or had high necklines because I couldn’t even be impressed with my boobs, as they were a result of my weight. I remember wearing black all the time because it was a “slimming” colour and it would mean my body wouldn’t stand out as much- I still do this today but that’s more so because black makes me feel untouchable now.


(Beginning of 2016 in Melbourne)

You would think that would all change now being 15kg lighter, it hasn’t as much as you would think.

I have a severe, illogical fear of throwing up, I haven’t thrown up since I was 9 (I’m 20 now) and as I’ve grown older this fear has developed into intense anxiety/panic attacks and more. Around this time last year, I was out to dinner with friends and I don’t know what it was but I became the closest I’ve ever come to throwing up in quite some time and it petrified me; to put it simply, I lost it. I equated food and going out (particularly at night) to feeling ill and that has taken over my life.

To put it in perspective this is how it goes in my mind:

  • If I am going out: I start to feel anxious because what if I became ill again? The anxiety makes me feel nauseas and I either go out and feel panicked the majority of the time or I cancel. If I go out, I won’t eat anything, so I have nothing in my stomach to make me feel sicker.
  • If I eat something that isn’t excessively plain: I get panicked that it could make me sick and then that makes me feel anxious/nauseas and I won’t eat anything else for a while.

In the last few months of last year I had a lot going on that was adding to my stress; university, changes at work, travel, family events and a tyrannical director at my old high school’s musical (who literally made my own mother cry). The stress constantly had me on edge and feeling anxious, I was having anxiety attacks frequently and skipped a lot of meals because of it. I’m not proud to admit this but I believe it’s important for full disclosure; in the last week of September I was so anxious about a particular event coming up that I didn’t eat or leave my house for a week. I also barely slept because I felt so anxious.

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(Myself and my little brother right before Christmas of 2016)

Fast forward to Christmas, in where I asked for a FitBit. During the set up on the app, it asks for your weight so you can track weight loss, I had asked for it because I wanted to achieve some fitness goals, so I weighed myself expecting to see 97kg and instead saw 82kg. In less than four months I had starved myself to the point where I had lost 15kg. My anxiety had controlled my life so much so that I was shrinking, this was great I had done no work and lost 15kg something I’d been dying to do and it was so easy. I remember telling some friends feeling proud of my weight loss, and them telling me that it was so dangerous what I was allowing my anxiety to do to me. That train of thought means I can now see how eating disorders can so easily start and become uncontrollable.

If anyone reading this knows me personally and is concerned, I did see a councilor to help work through my anxiety and I don’t skip as many meals as I used to. I am fortunate to have some amazing friends and boyfriend who make sure I eat, and an amazing family who took me seriously when I said I think I need to talk to someone professional. I still experience anxiety, more frequently then I would like but I am managing it better.

 Mental Health Info and Hotlines:

Beyond blue: 1300 22 4636

Beyond Blue- Facts About Anxiety

Headspace: 1800 650 890

Young People and Mental Health

Kids Helpline: 1800 55 890

 How my weight-loss affected my body image

The issue with losing 15kg to mental illness is that when people comment that you’re looking “good” “slimmer” etc, something they never used to say, you’re first reaction is to feel good about it but then you remember why you look “slimmer”. For me it’s a cycle of feeling ashamed, feeling validated, and feeling like maybe I should stop eating again to lose more weight and get more compliments. It sucks that it took my anxiety’s toll on my body for people to comment on it in a positive light. Prior to this year the majority of compliments given to me about my appearance were about my eyes, nails and smile- well and my boobs but as I previously addressed, they’re only big because I’m over weight.

Suddenly my body that I originally felt indifferent to, I couldn’t even feel like I could embrace my body and be happy with it, because it was a result of an unhealthy mindset. If I couldn’t be happy with my slimmer body and there was no way I wanted to go back to 97kg, something had to change.

Steps I took to embrace my body

1. I work out: I used to go to the gym a while back but I hated it and I have work out equipment at home. It is also worth mentioning I don’t diet, I still eat, but I don’t drink caffeine (it sets off my anxiety), I don’t drink soft drink (I do at parties but I rarely go to those), I don’t drink alcohol (too much could make me sick and frankly I hate the taste), and I only eat when I’m actually hungry. That’s been a challenge to eat when I’m hungry not when I’m bored. I may not be proud of how I lost 15kg but I can be proud of how I maintain it and lose more weight and/or tone up.

2. Clothing challenges: over the past few months I have purchased items of clothing I never would have because I never thought I could be okay with showing that much skin. I bought a bikini- something I haven’t worn since being 5 in an Ariel bikini. I bought sheer/mesh clothing, so I could get comfortable with showing off my body without being naked. I bought lingerie- no not for my boyfriend, for me to get comfortable with feeling secure and attractive in my own body before I could get comfortable with someone else being attracted to my body.

3. I did an underwear photo-shoot: This is obviously a bit extreme for most people but I found it to be truly empowering. Last year my Mum signed me up for a competition to win a gift voucher at Rosie Button Photography and I won. Rosie specialises in vintage photography and during the photo shoot you have your clothes provided and you have your hair and makeup done while scones and sandwiches are provided. I did a shoot with my little sister but I also did a solo underwear shoot.

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I debated whether or not to include any of the pictures here but I think it’s important for other plus-size girls around my age to see that we can truly be sexy and empowering.

I’m in no way saying this is easy, it’s not, you’re being vulnerable and if vulnerability was easy it wouldn’t be called that. The point I’m making is I had to introduce myself to my new body and come to accept it for it’s changes and how it got there. Like I said I might not be proud of how I got here but I can be proud of maintaining it in a healthier manner, and to not be on a path of accepting my body would be more dangerous in the long run.

Being bigger then my partner

(Out of respect for my lovely boyfriend I won’t be inserting a pic os us)

If my mother or any other family member is reading this, you might want to skip this part- it’s up to you though.

In a previous post I mentioned that my one year anniversary was coming up with my boyfriend. Being vulnerable with yourself is one thing, the only person judging you is you, but being vulnerable with someone else takes way more strength and fake confidence then I thought. I’m going to be honest, my boyfriend is skinnier then me and it’s not something I think about unless I see photos of us or we are being intimate. It’s really hard not to think about it in these scenarios. I know for myself and a few friends in similar scenarios that when your partner, who is skinnier then you, compliments your appearance calling you beautiful, sexy, etc my first thought is to not believe them. I go from not thinking about my body to hearing about it and it makes me literally throw a blanket over myself and hide, fully clothed or not.

I personally don’t really have any advice for people going through the same kind of thing, because I myself am still working through it. I know that the compliments come from a place of love and not malice, which is how I cope with it, if it truly bothers you to a greater extent I would talk to your partner about how it makes you feel. Who knows, you might learn something about yourself through how your partner sees you.

What I think it comes down to is you have to come to a certain level of self-acceptance before you can accept someone else’s acceptance of you. Obviously I don’t think anyone can fully accept themselves, not really, it’s more so getting to a place where there are more things you accept about yourself then you reject. I myself am still on this path but I’m proud of where I’m heading, even if I want to just wear a suit that makes me invisible some days.

How does this relate to beauty?

I realize this piece is heavy but I needed to give some context into what I wanted to talk about and that is the misrepresentation of plus-size people in the beauty and fashion world. What sparked this piece was watching this clip of Tim Gunn talking about the fashion industry needing a makeover: Tim Gunn on why the fashion industry needs a makeover

He essentially talks about how the average size in America is “plus-size” and so the fact that designers and retailers only design/make clothes for straight-sized people they are missing out on over 80 million people in America alone. Plus sized people, particularly women have severely increased their spending habits on fashion but there’s nothing good out there for us. When I was larger the only store that I could shop at to get “nice” clothing was City Chic. Now I’m not hating on City Chic, their clothes are very nice but they’re also very expensive and for a student like me I can’t justify it. And so I’d be stuck in my target leggings and t-shirts.

The point I’m trying to make is I would say a lot of plus-size women are trying to slim down, so they can feel accepted by themselves and their peers, and I’m not criticizing that. What I’m critising is the fact that in the meantime we as plus size women can’t look good. As Tim Gunn says “the plus size women is difficult” we are, we have different proportions then a straight-sized person. It’s not just a matter of making the clothes bigger, I might be bigger but I’m not taller, I don’t want to spend $70 on jeans at City Chic to then spend another $20 to get them taken up. I don’t want to have to go online to buy “on trend” clothes in my size if I can’t try them on and guarantee they’ll look good on me.

What I want for myself and for other plus-sized people is for us to have clothing options that make us feel good whether we are on our way to our body goal or we are there. Retailers and designers are missing out on millions of dollars by ignoring the plus-sized community, and it’s no wonder that so many of us can’t feel okay about our body when no one wants to make clothes for us. It’s particularly sad for plus-sized teenagers who can’t shop in the same stores as their friends because they don’t offer their size. I myself am currently too small for City Chic but still too big for most “normal” retailers- so what do I do? Spend hundreds of dollars getting the clothes I already own altered? Further more, don’t forget that when I was in High School I thought that no one would be attracted to me next to my taller, slimmer friends, and there was nothing out there to correct that train of thought. It’s disgusting that a teenage girl can look at herself and her friends and come to the conclusion that no one will be attracted to her.

Maybe if we didn’t live with a fashion industry that only wanted to design and make clothes for a straight-sized community and was more inclusive we wouldn’t have such a body-conscious society that “fat-shamed” or “skinny-shamed”. Maybe I wouldn’t feel so ashamed of my body, of what it was and what it is now. I thought our worth came from our souls but I guess I was naïve and I too am a victim of the fashion/beauty industry. I’m on my way to accepting my body for what it is, for where it’s been and for how it’s gotten here. The biggest piece of advice I can give for a plus-sized person who is struggling with their body image is to do the following:

  • Wear whatever makes you happy and makes you feel good, regardless of the fashion “rules” put upon us
  • Talk to your doctor about the best ways for YOU to loose weight if that’s something you want to do
  • Work towards accepting compliments about your body, they come from a place of caring
  • Eating is important and you don’t have to go on a crazy diet either, just start cutting back on small things like soft drink and coffee and work your way to bigger things like the amount of take-away food- but again speak to your doctor about what is going to be right for you

Body Image- Kids Helpline

Low Self-Esteem and Body Image- Beyond Blue

Every single human being is beautiful, hot and sexy, it just takes some of us longer to realise we’re allowed to be and feel those things no matter our body. I’m not 100% there yet but I’m close- I can feel it.

I hope you have a moment today where you feel beautiful

Jess XO

10 Makeup Kit Essentials

After a rather large purchase via Sephora I was thinking about my Makeup Artistry Kit and more importantly the essentials I carry around- more so the essentials you wouldn’t normally think about. I knew that in my kit I’d need various shades of foundations, powders, eye shadow palettes, etc, those items are fairly common knowledge. This is basically just a run down of some of the essentials I’ve learnt to keep in my kit over my various makeup gigs; I will note some of these are for a “normal” gigs and others are more suited to film/photography shoots.

1. My Makeup Transportation

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My kit is transported via a tool box, yes that’s right a tool box. The traditional makeup trolley is great if you’re a makeup artist doing tradtional jobs ie balls/weddings. As I do a lot of set makeup my tool box is more heavy duty so it’s easier to transport over rough terrain. A lot of makeup trollies are a couple of hundred dollars, where as this tool box was $96 from my local Bunnings. My tool box also has two compartments so if it’s a smaller gig I can just carry the top part or I can wheel the bottom compartment. My top compartment also has mini compartments which makes my storage for disposables nice and neat.


2. Disposables


Disposables are a must to keep everything hygienic. Going backwards and forwards between powders is fine- it’s a dry material and therefore doesn’t trap bacteria. Cream products however, do trap bacteria if you go back and forward from brush to face. Having plain pop sticks/spatulas means you can scoop out a bit of product and go backwards and forward from stick to face, it keeps your products more hygienic and improves the longevity of them. Obviously you can use the back of your brushes to scope out product but for me that’s kind of messy and I don’t personally like it but if it works for you- awesome!

The other disposals I use include:

  • Mascara wands (NEVER put a used mascara wand back into the mascara, you have just tainted that product and you can’t use it on other clients in case you spread infections)
  • Cotton pads (to wipe down faces etc)
  • Cheap sponges (I use these for creating bruises not for actual foundation application)
  • Cotton swabs (to help erase mascara/eyeliner/lip mishaps)

Disposables are easy to come by at your local pharmacy, Priceline, grocery store, target etc.

3. Mixing tray

If you sanitize your hands, which you should be doing anyway, you can use the back of your hand to place products and to mix. The reason I don’t is because it can get messy really quickly and you don’t want to accidently get foundations on you or your client, but also different creams have different consistencies and could just run down your hand depending on the viscosity. So I use a mixing tray to deposit products and to mix shades of foundations etc. You can purchase a mixing tray from most makeup brush/accessories companies (ie Morphe, Crown Brush Australia) or your local arts supplies store.

4. Towel/Cape

It’s always important to keep your client’s clothes from getting accidently stained, especially if they’re wearing what they’re wearing for the purpose of your makeup (ie a gown, costume). When I started I would just use an old towel and a bull clip around my client, but then for my birthday I was given a hairdresser’s cape, which has been awesome to have in my kit. Having the cape and taking care of my client’s clothes has helped give me an extra professional edge.

5. Brush cleaner/alcohol

This is pretty self-explanatory but if you’re working on multiple people throughout the day you need to keep your brushes/makeup sanitary and having brush cleaner and alcohol is the quickest way to clean brushes and products with minimal drying time. I use paper towels also to clean my brushes.

6. Lint roller

This is more so for a film or photo shoot, but keeping a lint roller in general is again just another thing to give you a professional edge. I have a makeup chair that I bring with me but I also live in a house with a white cat and so there always seems to be white fur on my makeup chair. So I keep a lint roller just in case my client gets some white fur on them, which is every time! But Ollie is too pretty for me to stay mad at.



7. Sunscreen

Again only for shoots that are outdoors- I use a sunscreen that has a matte-finish rather than the usual oily-finish of most sunscreens. It’s really important as a makeup artist to protect your client’s skin, so having sunscreen and an umbrella helps with that. I talk more about this in my post Lights, Camera, MAKEUP!

8. Tweezers/Scissors

This is for fake eyelash application and/or gems/embellishments. There may also come a day where you might need to tweeze a few eyebrow hairs on a client so having tweezers is also useful. It is also useful to have eyelash glue on hand, not all pairs of lashes come with glue so just have it in your kit just in case.

Make sure you check if your client has a latex allergy, if they’re unsure you can do a “patch test” where you apply a tiny drop on your client’s hand at the beginning of your service to see if their skin starts to react to the latex.

9. Hand mirror

You’re client is going to want to see what they look like to make sure they’re happy with your makeup. Let’s be real, makeup palettes rarely have a decent mirror in them so just having one on hand will again give you that professional edge.

10. Hand sanitiser

You’re touching people’s faces so hand sanitiser keeps thing hygienic. You’ll need to reapply hand sanitiser if you touch your own face during the application process.

These are just a few ideas to get your makeup kit started, to make it the most badass and functional kit you can. Happy makeup-ing my lovelies!


Jess xo

7 Makeup Tips for Mature Skin


Over the weekend I ran a lesson on makeup for mature skin, it went well and I had a lovely model. For those who couldn’t attend or for those who simply want some tips I’d thought I’d give you my top 7 tips for makeup for mature skin.

1. Start with Skin Care

It’s important to at least cleanse, tone and moisturise every morning and evening, I realise this sounds tedious but I’ll explain why it’s important. Cleansing opens your pores and cleans your skin, by getting rid of all that day’s makeup and/or residue you’re not clogging your pores. If you go to bed without taking off your makeup, you’re leaving the bacteria you’ve collected from the day and it prematurely ages your skin. Majority of us fear looking old and so why would you speed up the process and not wash your face?

Toner helps to balance your face’s ph levels and helps to close your pores, so as your sleeping you’re not collecting too much bacteria. Finally moisturising helps to hydrate your skin, dry skin = more prominent lines, that’s why people with oily skin wrinkle at a slower rate, because their skin is constantly hydrated from their own oils. As we get older our skin gets dryer, so adding that moisture back in helps with that.

It’s also important mentioning when you do clean your face, make circular motions going upwards. The circular motions help with blood flow and by going upwards your not training your skin to droop down unnecessarily. Be gentle, as we grow older our skin looses elasticity, so be gentle with how you clean and apply makeup.

Use serums and other skin care products at your own whim but do at least cleanse, tone and moisturise.

2. Prime Your Skin

Primer creates a barrier between your skin and your makeup; it allows for a smoother application process. There are a lot of primers out there but finding the right kind that will fill in some of the finer lines and pores you have will help to lesson the appearance of wrinkles.

3. Less is Always More, Especially with Powder

Foundation powder has a heavy pigment compared to translucent powder and doesn’t settle well into crevices nicely. Cream products are better for mature skin as they settle into the skin better, and it’s easier to build up without the “cakey” effect. Obviously people get shiny throughout the day, if you’re not having to touch up the pigment of your makeup and rather you’re just needing to reduce shine I would recommend blotting paper, or translucent powder if you must. Translucent powder holds no pigment and hence has a finer grain then foundation powder; it doesn’t build up as quickly as foundation powder. If you use a foundation powder for your base try a tinted moisturiser, water-based tinted moisturises and foundations are best. Powder when built up can add texture, texture that isn’t flattering.

4. Avoid Glitter

I know, me saying “avoid glitter” means it the world must be ending but hear me out. A bit of shimmer in the inner corner of your eyes, brow bone and even the top of the cheek is fine, but be very sparring with it. Go for a shimmer/lustre product over glitter; glitter is very similar to foundation powder in that it doesn’t settle it sits on top of your skin and as it’s shine it will draw attention to fine lines rather than disguise them (but honestly if you want to have fun- glitter is epic, it’s just advised to avoid it).

5. The Dome Shape and Eyeliner

As we get older our eyes become more hooded, which means our eyes start to reseed into our head more and we have less lid space that can be seen while our eyes are open. Therefore creating any sort of winged shape with eyeliner or shadow will get lost in the creases of your socket. The ideal “shape” you want to make with your shadow is what I refer to as the “dome”, this is just following your natural socket and going even slightly higher. I would apply the shadow in an upwards motion to avoid your shadow drooping.

I never apply eyeliner on my mature clients, instead I smudge a darker shadow (usually a dark brown or dark purple) into their lash lines. It gives them the definition of eyeliner without the harshness eyeliner can cause- plus it applies more evenly that way.

When I apply shadow on my mature clients I use patting motions, swiping motions pulls that skin on your eyelids, which is already incredibly thin and looses elasticity the quickest.

6. Avoid Black

Again, I know, me saying avoid black is crazy talk, but unless we’re talking mascara, black is a very unforgiving colour for mature skin. Instead use dark purples, browns, greys and even blues. Black is a colour that should be use incredibly sparingly, I’d only ever use it in the deepest part of my client’s outer corner for extra definition, but only just a touch. Similarly to glitter, rather than using black/or glitter to make your eyes pop, use matte coloured shades to make your eyes pop. Think about the colour wheel, to make your eyes standout use colours on the opposite side of the colour wheel to your eyes. For instance if you have blue eyes, warm colours like browns, oranges and warm-toned creams are great.

7. Matte Lips is Where it’s At

Lip liner helps to stop your lipstick feathering and/or bleeding. Matte shades are best, glossier finishes give the illusion of more plump lips but they highlight wrinkles, similarly to glitter.


At the end of the day, wear makeup, don’t wear makeup it’s completely up to you, these are simply tips I’ve learnt over the years to help enhance a mature woman’s face and boost their confidence. Obviously if you want to wear glitter, or have thick liner that is completely up to you and to that I say rock what ever you want to rock, the people who matter shouldn’t care. Be happy with how your face looks whether that’s by wearing no makeup at all or applying all the tips I’ve outline, we’re all beautiful regardless.


Jess xo


Makeup for a First Date


So this week marks my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend; I’m the last person who expected to enter a committed relationship but here I am, he’s pretty spectacular. I thought, in honour of my 1 year coming up, I’d walk you through what I painted on my face for my first date with my now boyfriend. Maybe I’ll tell you guys how we first met in more detail but for now, it’s worth mentioning that this was essentially a blind date; we didn’t know each other and we’d only seen pictures of each other before we met. I am truly lucky to have met the man I get to call my boyfriend.

I here all the time that guys prefer “natural” makeup or none at all, when I wear makeup I can look very intimidating and for those who know me well, I’m anything but; so for my first date I wore a toned down version of a typical “me” look. Still Goth Barbie, but Goth Barbie visiting her grandparents, lighter and not so “Adams’ Family”. Last year I wasn’t fond of my body but I lived with it, and so I would compensate with makeup to make me feel more confident in my skin.

And yes, why doing this look for today’s blog post I was in my PJs, it’s getting colder here and they’re comfy.


The products I used as follows: 1. Anastasia Beverly hills Nicole Gherriero Glow Kit, 2. NYX Highlight & Contour Pro Palette, 3. Too Faced Sweet Peach palette, 4. Urban Decay Perversion mascara, 5. MAC Studio Chromagraphic  Pencil in NC15/NW20, 6. L’Oriel Paris Super Liner, 7. Hourglass Vanish stick in Blanc, 8. Stila Correct and Perfect palette, 9. MAC Semi-Sweet Times Nine, 10. MAC Eyeshadow in “Charcoal Brown”, 11. NARS Radiant Concealer in “Chantilly”, 12. MAC powder blush in “Full of Joy” & 13. NYX HD Finishing Powder.

1. Concealer, Foundation & Contour


Starting with my Stila Concealer palette, I colour correct my face and applied my Hourglass foundation; being the naturally anxious person I am, I didn’t get too much sleep the night before my date, so I desperately needed to cover those dark circles. I then applied my Radiant Concealer, a brightening concealer, to further help conceal those dark circles, setting my entire face with my NYX HD Powder. When I met my now boyfriend I was 15kg heavier and so I was super self-conscious about my body; I compensated with my face, more importantly my contour.


Using the cool-toned brown shade from my NYX contour palette,  I contoured more prominent cheekbones and helped disguise my double chin a bit. I would like to mention that the past 7 months I have become more accepting of my body and later I plan on writing a post about self-love. There was nothing fancy about the way I contoured that day, it was just the traditional “3” shape I refer to in “How to… Grunge”. I then highlighted the tops of my cheekbones, my cupid’s bow and my nose using the shade “Forever Young” from my Anastasia palette. To add some colour in to my cheeks, so I wasn’t completely the walking dead, I added my MAC blush to the apples of my cheeks.

2. Brows & Eyes


I filled in my brows by drawing a line of MAC “Charcoal Brown” using an angled brush along the base of my brow and the top of my brow, brushing the pigment into my brow. To tidy up my brows I lined my brows with my NARS concealer using a clean angled brush. I then primed my eyelids.

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The shades I used as follows: 1. Bamboo, 2. Pink Sienna, 3. Persuade, 4. Dance in the Dark & 5. Everyone’s Darling


Over my entire lid and continuing past my crease, I used a fluffy brush and took “Bamboo” & “Pink Sienna” to set my primer and to allow for easier blending in the future. I focused most of the pigment in and above my crease.


Through my crease and creating a winged angle I took “Persuade” and a smaller fluffy brush. To deepen my outer corner I took the smallest touch of “Dance in the Dark” with my fluffy blending brush and blended it out into my crease. My first date was during the day and so I figured black would be a little harsh, taking this taupe & darker purple/black means I was still getting that darkness but without the raccoon illusion. I have very blue eyes so warmer tones make the cooler tones of my eyes pop, hence why I used this warmer toned purple.



Over the rest of my lid I took “Nectar” from my Too Faced palette, a light gold colour, and a flat packing brush; taking a clean fluffy brush I blended the eye shadow. I brought some of that darker purple/black shade on my outer lower lashline, to make the eye look more cohesive. To then add some colour into my face, because I was wearing all black on my date, I took “Everyone’s Darling” and an angled brush and ran it across my lower lash line.

3. Finishing Touches



I then applied my mascara and my winged liner, for details on how to do winged liner easily, check out “How to… Grunge”. To finish the look I applied my MAC  “Stone” lipstick.

(Sorry I completely spaced in including this in my initial product layout- and I have to go to my day job soon so i can’t re-do it)

I usually wear black or dark purple lipstick but again that can be scary to someone who doesn’t know me very well. I chose this shade because it was slightly softer but still dark. A lot of the times people choose nude lipstick, which is great, particularly if you’re gonna make out because it’s not such a disaster after making out. However up until my current boyfriend I had never kissed anyone, and at 19 I wasn’t about to kiss someone I had only met 2 hours ago, I wanted to know the person my first kiss would go to a bit better. So the darker shade also provided for a kind of preventative measure to being kissed.


So here I am almost a year later from my first date, and it’s been incredible. I’m not going to get gushy or post photos of us here, I’m not one to post about my relationship every day, we like our privacy. Hopefully this less-traditional date look, inspires you to wear darker colours when you might normally not.


Jess xo